[Intro – chaos and hype]
(beat starts — sizzling sound, someone coughing 😂)
Aiii! Welcome back to Comrade Kitchen!
Today — no plan, no budget, but food lazima ikuwe ready!
(beat bounce)
Aii DJ drop the beat — who’s funnier?! (crowd: “YOUUU!!”)
Heeeeh! Let’s cook!
[Verse 1 – confident step-by-step, SFX breaks]
Step one! (sufuria clang!)
Find pan, if hauna, brika iko man!
Pour water — shhhhh (boiling sound)
Add unga kidogo, we trust the hand!
Mix mix — spoon tap tap!
If inashika chini, bro don’t snap!
That’s “crunchy bottom” — 5-star chap! 😂
Taste check small — slurp sound!
No salt? Add jssho drop tatu!
(crowd laughs, “Weh!” “Nooo!”)
If it burns, we call it smoky stew,
We cook nonsense — but we chew! 😂
[Hook – call and response energy]
Food must ready! (crowd: “READY!”)
Even kama recipe ni deadly! (crowd: “DEADLY!”)
Food must ready! (crowd: “READY!”)
Comrade skills ni comedy steady! (crowd: “WAAH!”)
Food must ready! (crowd: “READY!”)
Who’s funnier? (crowd: “YOUUU!!”)
Food must ready!
We cook vibes proudly! 😂
[Verse 2 – full chaos with FX + ad-libs]
Step two — click click, lighter imekataa,
Weh! use candle, tunaenda kwa power!
Ikianza kuto smoke, bro usitense,
That’s flavor from God, common sense! 😂
Step three — unga imeisha,
Crush biscuits, sema “alternative nutrition!”
Weh! stir with ruler, face ni serious,
We’re broke — but mysterious!
Add water kidogo, psshh! explosion!
Ai bro run — it’s emotion! 💀
Ukiipata thick — ni success,
Ukipata uji — ni progress! 😂
[Hook – repeated with DJ cuts + chants]
Food must ready! (READY!)
Taste of chaos steady! (STEADY!)
Food must ready! (READY!)
Comrade life too heavy! (HEAVY!)
Food must ready! (READY!)
Who’s funnier?! (crowd: “YOUUU!!”)
Food must ready!
Even kwa blackout daily!
[Outro – final FX explosion 😂]
(beat slows — boiling, sizzling, explosion sound)
Eeh! Chef Mwiti at it again!
No kitchen, no rules — just food!
If you survive this meal — you graduate! 😂
Food… MUST… READY!!
(beat cuts — crowd laughter and claps)
🔥
