[Intro]
Ring ring, nope—not me. I’m deep in a nap with a dream of a tree.
[Verse 1]
I drifted to snooze-town, alarm on snooze-see, counting sheep that politely refuse to speak to me.
My eyes are closed like a door in a windstorm, I’m clutching a pillow that’s sworn to perform.
The world outside whispers, 'Just say hi,' but I’m rehearsing an exit: 'Goodbye, sky!'
[Chorus]
I’ll fake a call, I’ll vanish in air, I’ll bow to the sofa without a care.
If conversation calls, I’ll pretend I’m away, I’m single-handedly dodging the fray.
Emergency couch—my trusted alibi, I’m busy saving a snack from the sky.
[Verse 2]
I dial a number that’s mostly vibes and the laughter of a cat in the other line.
“Hi, I’m in the bathroom,” I declare with pride, while brushing my teeth with a dramatic slide.
I rehearse the exit like a grand retreat, tiptoe through doorways that squeak in defeat.
[Pre-Chorus]
But then a friendly face appears, and my plan disappears in a puff of earwax and fear.
I sigh and smile, and somehow it lands: tiny talk grows into a warm hand.
[Chorus]
I’ll fake a call, I’ll vanish in air, I’ll bow to the sofa without a care.
If conversation calls, I’ll pretend I’m away, I’m single-handedly dodging the fray.
Emergency couch—my trusted alibi, I’m busy saving a snack from the sky.
[Bridge]
If the doorbell rings, I’ve got a sock puppet line: ‘Oh, I paused the show to sign a sign.’
I’m a master of awkward, a hero of delay, a legend in the land of ‘I’m not here today.’
[Chorus]
I’ll fake a call, I’ll vanish in air, I’ll bow to the sofa without a care.
If conversation calls, I’ll pretend I’m away, I’m single-handedly dodging the fray.
Emergency couch—my trusted alibi, I’m busy saving a snack from the sky.
[Outro]
So if you spot me mid-exist, with a plot that’s sly and a timeline missed,
Know I’m just rehearsing for the grand social twist: a dramatic exit with a polite kiss.
